is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
