what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
