she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
