I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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