U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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