There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
