its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
