How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
