member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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