just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
