9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
