Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
