Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
