After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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