how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
