I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
