He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
