actually, I'm a sock model
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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