so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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