is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
