Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
