You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
