Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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