You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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