was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
