Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
