dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
