clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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