Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
