At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize