I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
