My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
