Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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