I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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