I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
