She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
