That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
