I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
