you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
