we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
