we have officially lost it.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
