Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
