i don't like sucking hair
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
