you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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