question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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