YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
