We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
