I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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