Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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