chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize