You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
