Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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