my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
