wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
