hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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