at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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