Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
